All the pancakes

Lord, you’ve brought something new to my attention this week.

How completely untrustingly I come to you.

I come to you with a vague hope that you might hear me and possibly give consideration to my plea. And if all the stars align and it’s not too big an ask - it may just happen - eventually. Then I’m left in my empty wondering - was it You? Or was it my perseverance or simply dumb luck that brought the desired outcome anyway? 

Our newest family member struggles to ask for what she wants. It’s a big thing for her to voice a need, or even respond positively to an offer. I think perhaps it’s for fear of disappointment and rejection, which is deeply rooted in mistrust. It hurts me when she sneakily takes what she wants when I would have happily given it to her. Doesn’t she know I love her and want to take care of her? That I delight in her smile when I present her with something she wants? I’m sure her enjoyment of whatever she steals cannot match what it would be if it were lovingly given. 

“Jesus taught us to pray for daily bread; a child asks for breakfast in utter confidence that it will be provided. He has no need to stash away today's pancakes for fear none will be available tomorrow--as far as he is concerned, there is an endless supply of pancakes. A child does not find it difficult or complicated to talk to his father, nor does he feel embarrassed to bring the simplest need to his attention.” Richard Foster

God I really need your help here. Help me to trust that you have enough pancakes, that you want to share the pancakes with me and believe that you delight in watching me enjoy the pancakes. 

Amen