One of my sins

I am a hoarder of time

I covet it 

It is my idol 

I deserve it. It is mine 

Intrusions are inconveniences 

Stealing my peace and quiet 

I move fast and act shrewdly 

Reasoning that’ll leave more time for me

To do what brings me joy

To be happy and full of peace 

An ideal that’s never actualised 

If others take my time 

there won’t be enough leftover for me

Equally 

I feel deep guilt when I take time for me 

That could have been spent on others  

I feel accused, shamed at my insufficient selfishness

I can’t even enjoy what I’ve worked so hard to store up 

I have difficulty meeting You here

In my greedily hoarded time

As I feel like I’ve arrived in filthy rags 

It does not make me happy 

There is no peace 

Create in me a clean heart oh lord 

Renew a right and steadfast spirit within me 

Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation

and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.