She’s not dead, she’s just sleeping

I’ve recently started praying for others again. I was worried I wouldn’t ever again. 

However it’s different now. My prayers pour out from deep within, saturated with love and trust. My purposeful conversations concerning others before God are moving from dutiful performance - to thankful, trusting devotion. 

I had concerns that I was so broken and messed up that there would never be room for the needs of others again. 

Jesus has reminded me gently in this place - that He calls me to give from my excess. We love because He first loved us. 

There is a concern when one takes a journey inward towards God that on the way it can become consumingly self centered. Yet I’ve come to conclude that when a journey truly is inward with and towards God, the overflow can’t help but be anything other than increased love for God and other humans. I’m glad I have evidence of that now. My impatient self was beginning to doubt the process. 

I now reason that maintaining dutiful prayer for a time because I ought to, pales in comparison with the few heartfelt groans I am eventually able to utter trustfully, lovingly. 

I reflect that perhaps in some seasons it takes a while for the living water to fill the vessel before it spills over? Lord, I am thankful my cup runneth over as you faithfully restore my soul.