We only trust people we know

We only trust people we know. If you are struggling to trust God, it may be because you don’t really know God - Martha Tennison

I was pushed to what I think may have been my limit this week. I knew it would be a big week. All the preplanning that could possibly be done, was done to perfection. All family members were briefed and braced for impact. We started well, all the balls were in the air, rotating perfectly. Then one by one they started to wobble, some lost momentum, causing a backlog and all the balls just started crashing into each other and getting knocked off course. I’m not bad at rolling with things, but there’s a point when the rolling gains too much momentum and a crash is imminent.

But joy - oh joy. This was the first time using my self control muscles to begin to carve a new neural pathway towards Jesus in the heat of the moment - to cling to my saving lifeline BEFORE the crash. 

I chose Him. I chose trust. I chose the better way. I chose fuller life. I am so so excited about this because to me it’s a tangible step in the right direction. Growth in God is often slow, steady and immeasurable, but I am setting up a memorial stone for this moment. 

The funny thing is, my situation didn’t really change. None of the balls were removed. But I was changed. I surrendered my anxieties and intentionally chose to trust Jesus to supply my every need. Finally, I am starting to feel secure enough in the love God has for me, that I can ease my grip and carve a path to be a new way under insurmountable pressure. 

It feels silly that it has taken this many years to get this far, but Martha Tennison‘s words sure ring true - the more I know my loving Lord, the easier the trusting is becoming. 

To the God who gets us, is forever patient and loving, who delights in our clumsy stumbling towards Him, forever be the glory.